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Self-care: the misconception. Salt Lake reflections

Last week I visited Salt Lake City for a conference where I was a co-presenter. And trust me guys… I was worn down to a whole new level: stress, three sleepless nights, regular work and extra work, you name it. I felt burnt out. And that made me think – is it a cry for more self-care or… more discipline?

Self-care may be the most overused term of 2019, and it seems to have replaced 2018’s most trending hygge. Okay – let’s admit this, Millennials. We are burnt out, overfed, broke, too sensitive and above all – lazy. We live in the beautiful times of individualism, and suddenly everyone is special. So we suffer through the day, at our 9-5 jobs, thinking we should have already become another Steve Jobs. Well, we’d be better at it by not getting sold on fruitarianism. We painfully acknowledge that our time is slipping between our fingers as we write it down in our journals.

Millennial blues

We think we deserve the world, yet we don’t want to put the effort into anything, because we are depressed and no one deserves us. We are waiting for someone to reach out and discover us. Then we find ourselves googling how to go about our belly fat while watching youtube tutorials, and edit another selfie. On the weekends we wear yoga pants and sneakers because we want to come across as health-conscious but we were just blessed with a good butt. Well, I wasn’t. But some of us were.

If you nodded at least once when reading this, you must have come across the term “self-care” in 2019. Not many things annoy me as much as this notion.


What is self-care really?

Let’s look into the definitions.

In medicine, self-care constitutes all preventive actions taken by a generally healthy individual to maintain their health to the highest degree possible.

It is also all actions taken by a chronically ill patient to manage their condition, in order to stop, limit or slow down its progression, and to improve their quality of life.

In philosophy, it’s taking care and cultivating one’s sense of self.

What isn’t self-care?

Eating a piece of cake to make up a dopamine drop a bad day.

Spending $100 at Sephora on new make-up to soothe your social anxiety.

Spending evenings on a couch in front of the TV after a long day at work.

Skipping a workout, when you’re tired or sad.

Avoiding facing the things you’re scared of, or overwhelmed by.

Finding any other excuse to not spend an hour a day on setting your goals and then working towards them.

It’s okay to be human. But please don’t call this self-care. It’s okay to pamper yourself, and it’s okay to make mistakes, too. But let’s be real.

So what should I really be doing?

Don’t be a follower. Do your own research on nutrition to improve your diet to the best of your knowledge.

Meal prep for the next day. Drink more water. Eat a balanced plant-based diet with an appropriate amount of healthy proteins and fats.

Maintain proper hygiene. Have better sex.

Quit smoking. Limit your alcohol intake to a weekly (or so – research varies) glass of wine.

See a psychotherapist and address your psychological difficulties. Learn to be assertive and set boundaries. Let go of toxic relationships.

Get up early to get your daily exercise, walk 10,000 steps a day. Purchase comfortable shoes which aid in proper walking posture. Improve your posture and consult all injuries with a physiotherapist

Protect your skin from the sun but maintain high levels of D vitamin, get your annual medical checkups and follow your doctor’s recommendations.

Get enough sleep.

And more. All this is physical self-care that will result in a mentally healthier you. Do you see the difference? You just have to be active. Or proactive. Another 2019 word, but better.

Let’s be real guys, everyone is struggling and life isn’t easy but lying to yourself is never the answer.

My conclusion is that Salt Lake was beautiful, but next week I’m gonna work harder on a better outcome. It’s all discipline folks.

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  • Josefine

    This post really left me thinking. I use the term self-care all the time too, haha. And you’re right. It’s totally overused. More often than not it’s just an excuse to be lazy. I’ll definitely think more about it… 🙂

    • Woman Restated

      Thank you! Let’s take good care of ourselves!

      Funny enough I overuse it too, or even if I don’t, I fail at being a good and efficient human all the time haha… But I believe being conscious is the first step to achieving a goal. So this post was my first step to improve (hopefully) 🙂

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