My bucketlist

Ever since I remember I was very introspective and had immense interest in my self-development, myself as a human being, and the depths of my brain. As a five-year-old, I used to leave myself notes on scrap paper, folded and hidden in a Kinder Surprise toy cover. Because I was lucky to grow up in the 90s in a country where they were not banned and no one has kicked the bucket from it.

Speaking of buckets, I started to create my annual bucket lists as a teenager. In the beginning, my goals ranged from finishing specific steps of my education, losing excess weight (it’s been a long journey). Many of the items were related to the arts and digging into myself to define me. Even until now, the number one activity that gives me the most excitement is an engaging late-night conversation with a fascinating person that can pull out something new I haven’t yet come to realize.

The silver medal goes to music and literature, especially poetry, which can elevate me to the point of hot flushes and make me want to experience life in all possible ways. I have known this feeling since I was a child, and I used to call it the wave of inspiration. Since then, the number of episodes of this pleasant feeling has been decreasing, while the number of things that remind me of people and events I don’t want to be reminded of, has been increasing. This is how I define growing old: collecting mushrooms in your basket. You have no clue what you’re picking until you are an experienced picker and even then you risk hospital party.

But back to the business.

Here is what I would like life to provide me with please:

This list isn’t complete – but I will be updating it as I go!


  1. Go on a road trip in a camper. It has been a dream of mine for many years to go on a self-designed survival camping trip. Sleeping in a tent or in the camper, roasting potatoes on the fire, singing songs and cuddling in the sleeping bag on a chilly October evening. Now that I can drive, I could actually make that happen.
  2. Take my parents to Mexico. As I am growing older, I started to realize that
  3. Travel across Russia on the Transsiberian train.
  4. Go on a road trip with no predetermined destination. In a convertible, wearing a crop top, light-wash jeans and a 90s hairstyle (just kidding). Like in old American comedies.
  5. Go to a fly-spot.
  6. Go to a floating pod.
Snorkeling in the Exumas in September 2019.


  1. Write a fiction book. There is a funny story associated with my book writing. Actually, there is more than one, but one is more funny than the others. When I was five, I wrote “my first book”. It was a love story because it was the period in my life when I was especially fascinated by the feeling of fascination although it wasn’t something I had experienced yet (besides my kindergarten boyfriend whom I had planned to marry because he was cute and agreed with me on everything). So it was a book about love between several different people, and, sue me, but I don’t recall the plot. When my mom realized I was working on my piece so diligently, she suggested that, when I’m done, we could submit it for a competition. Having heard that (and understood that my indecent work would be disclosed), I changed the names of all female characters to a mother, thinking this would make it a warm story about family love. I can only imagine how messed up my parents thought I was, but, in brief, the book never got to become a bestseller.
  2. Go on a casting for a movie. Just because you only live once.
  3. Write a journal or make a podcast.
  4. Act in an improv theater.

Mundane shit

  1. Have 3-month emergency savings. I am really bad at this and even though this list is not about money, I need to save up 3x rent + $1500 survival money in case of emergency.
  2. Buy a house in Latvia.
  3. Buy a car.
  4. Start my own business.
  5. Have a passive income.


  1. Be more giving. I mean it in the simplest of ways: my dream is to have the tightest bond with the people I love. I want to be more attentive and more giving emotionally, intellectually, and physically.
  2. Start a foundation. Because I want to give back and give a chance.


  1. Develop a style. I came to the realization that the only reason I don’t wear make-up or dress up in fancy clothes is that I don’t feel that I deserve to look attractive.
  2. Try preventative skin treatments.
  3. Get a meaningful tattoo.
  4. Get into my desired shape.
  5. Improve my public speaking skills.
  6. Identify 100 things that make me happy.
  7. Get a fish tank.

What are yours?

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September 21, 2019

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